just for the records…

I guess I´m a lousy recorder.

I record what I want, capricious all the time. Letting half of it unsaid, half vaguely outlined, patches of anything (maybe nothing) in an obscure angle or hard light…

Even truth can be distorted by the viewer, if  he/ she is twisted enough.

Nothing wrong with that, but… There should be more to it, than just functioning perception, don’t you think?  There should be understanding, emphasis to the greater picture. – If there is any at all… 

I should be more interested in what´s beneath, than what’s not functioning. The luxury of existing. All waisted on maintaining efforts to look like everyone else does, functioning  on a daily schedule.

Yes, ma’am.  No, sir. Yes, sir. No, ma´am. Thank you. You´re welcome. Bless you. Have a nice day!

Don’t you feel disgusted too? 

I´d like to say that sincerely. Pathetic-little-me forcing myself into politeness. Scared of what anyone will think of me, judge me…

This is preemptive obedience.  

What a hateful thing…

See, I don´t get it! But this is nothing new.  Most of the time I’m just wondering why I did what I did.

´Cept the functioning part. I understand that pretty well. 

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