What’s under Lady Luck’s skirt?

“Kiddo. You need luck! Without it, you don´t even start.”

The old man looks friendly. His wallet lies on the ground, near his seat. He’s already finished his  coffee and  his pie, rumbles on about something in the newspapers. There isn’t even one he could be lookin’ at. Anyway. He stares at me. He talks to me. What the hell?!

And me? Lookin’ busy. Studying my books sprawled over the tiny coffeeshop table. Old man, why you keep  looking at me? I’m not interested in social contact… Except for that wallet. Yes, that wallet… I’ll keep that in mind.

“You need luck, kiddo! You’ll know that, when it abandons you. Lady Luck is a fickle lover. She bites, but sometimes she’ll suck the air out of your lungs with one deep kiss, making your toes curl… Beg for mercy, maybe she’ll let you under her skirt, maybe she’s got a bear man-trap under there. You’ll never know, till you try…”

What kind of nonsense is this? I’d better have none of it. Not interested in a conversation! I ignore the ancient one shuffling on his seat, wiggling himself near my table. He leans over. “Hey, pssst! Kiddo! Hey! I tell you a secret. You suck.”

What’s it to you old fart? “You don’t make any sense,” I say bluntly, without lifting my head even an inch.

Suddenly he’s silent. Now that makes me curious. I check on him, just to see that horrible sad look on his face. Eyes all teared up, mouth opened to sob painfully. This is crazy! Demented or drunk? I don’t care. Go away!

“I… I’m not making any sense, am I? I… You – you’re right.” He cries. “Sorry, kiddo,” he snivels. Tears running down his lined cheeks. Everybody´s staring. Now what? The waiter shakes his head. Old man is sobbing. Unbelievable! “So sorry… I’m repulsive… Won’t bother you no more, kiddo” he´s bawling now, snot running down his beard. Ugh! Disgusting!

He takes his jacket and leaves. Thank Goodness! He’s out. What was that all about? Another episode of wasting time with a crazy creep.  That wallet is still there… I look at it. It looks back at me. How do I get it? Let´s get my stuff and let something fall, so I’d pick it up. It’ll compensate just fine!

“Check please,” I raise my hand and the waiter nods. He arrives at the table with a big smile. Ten twenty. What?! I look again. Yeah, still ten twenty. The waiter notices my confusion. “Three coffees, one pie,” he smiles. What?!

“I only had two coffees. I don’t understand.” Two coffees, while reading. Nothing more. I swear.

“Yes, you. And your father.” He answers.

“My… – Who?!”

“Your father. That old man crying, calling you his kid! THAT FATHER,” he is furious. Oh, oh. “Look! If you try to skip out on the tab- I call the police now!” His voice causes uproar. Everybody’s looking at me.

What the hell?!

I pay. Ok. Not my smartest move, you’re right. I just don’t want any trouble, that’s all.

I’ve got that heavy wallet, anyway. It’ll be fine. That old fart causing so much trouble… Who’d know, right? All this luck nonsense and the crying – god!

Can’t wait for the next corner to check the content.

EMPTY!

“Screwed over? Told you, kiddo! You don´t even start. Without luck.” A friendly voice states from behind, making me jump.

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