don’t forget the salmon

Mr. Jones’ psychotic adventures – part 3

-part 1 – Where to, Mr. Jones?

-part 2 – soft spot

You don’t quite think it through, do you? The woman with the tail, you don’t mean to lie to her. But it’s ok for now. You won’t hurt her with that. You tell her, that you are perfectly fine. Not honest. Shame on you! You shake your head at your own confusion- it is somewhat slightly amusing, you must admit.

There is this fact that might be true. The one, that you’re are nuts. You know that. Ziggy has told you. The gorilla and the skinny man too.

They believe themselves a part of your hallucinations. Ridiculous! If they are, then you can  control them, make them say things like supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, or make them eat disgusting stuff, or run around naked. …Oh wait, the gorilla does that, doesn’t he? And the thin man is eating fried crickets and spiders. You might be hallucinating them, after all.

You stop with sudden recognition. Those two. They aren’t doing it by choice. You force them.

How rude! You never imagine yourself THIS disturbed…

Where is your medication? You know you have some, somewhere… You need it, you tell yourself. True enough. Your memory would work much better. But you are feeling so fine.

Everything happening is so interesting, adventurous days, and far more exciting nights. You don’t want to be bored. Not since, you have a girlfriend. Plus you have really exotic friends.

Stepping outside, you get a day light shower, blinding you for some seconds. The noises of the street flood into your ears and brains. It’s too hot, too noisy. You are daydreaming again. Of her. Still her scent in your nose… Those curves, and her tail. Damn you are hungry. Raw meat isn’t your favorite. Seems to be hers though.

She kissed your forehead when she left, looking so perfect.  Maybe you didn’t make out with her. After all, your memory is full of holes, and you woke up when she came in. She could have been polite, giving you a place to sleep. Maybe you were too drunk to sleep with her… But it could have been the most thrilling night of your life and you fainted. Wouldn’t be the first time for you.

You try to ask, but her finger on your lips silence you instantly. The perfume floating around you two is captivating. „I’m already too late, darling. Let’s do this some time again! Soon. Come and visit me. Oh, and when you leave, just close the door really well.” She smiles. A beautiful smile that makes your knees go jello. What a woman! “Bye, darling! Next time, bring some salmon!”

The door closes behind her. You still stare at the spot, where she was just a moment ago. You swallow. Salmon.

She reminds you of some kind of big cat. A barbecue, it would be so nice. Or something like that… Yeah that must be it. Don’t forget to bring salmon.

And what if you wait for her? When she comes back, and you surprise her with flowers, and a cleaned up kitchen? How would she react to that? She likes you, doesn’t she? She won’t be upset, would she?

Here. You look around. Really nice…

It´s the only place that seems normal- and no one is trying to force-feed you insects. Plus, no naked gorilla showing off. Ziggy worries. Hopefully… You guess that he´s the one with the most brains between those three. But you have no idea, where those guys are. Hell, not even, where you are… Just not-your-appartment, which isn´t as confusing as the rest of the world. Maybe a  good sign, you ponder.

You find some cash and decide to go shopping. Nothing big, just groceries. You decide, that you are going to make a fancy meal. You will try to impress her. You will cook for your tailed – maybe cat – lady.

What are you going to need? You try to make a list: eggs, milk, bread, some nice spices, ketchup, coffee, flowers, beer… And something else too; a big salmon. Don’t forget the salmon. You should have lunch too. Your belly tells you. You are really hungry.

You start to walk down the street, on the sunny side. It smells of fresh bread. There must be a bakery nearby.

“Hey! Mr. Jones! Mister Jones! Juhuu!” Someone calling your name. Unease in the back of your head. No. Keep walking. You want to keep walking… “Mister Jones!” It´s much nearer. Damn. Maybe someone confuses you with some other Mr. Jones. You are not the Mr. Jones they are looking for…

A hand grabs your shoulder, makes you jump. „Didn’t you hear me? I was calling. I’ve been looking for you!” The voice belongs to Ziggy. It’s him giving you a big full teeth smile.

It’s fake, that’s written across his face. Weird. You don’t like that smile. That face is too tense. It’s a grimace. More mimicking a smile than really smiling… Why didn’t this cross your mind earlier? You never understand Ziggy.

“Now, you’ve found me. Congrats!” You try to smile back, and ask yourself, how did he find you anyway.

“The gorilla told me, you found some company for the night. Is that true?!” He seems a bit offended. “Was she good? Tell me. Did she satisfy you? I hope she did, cause I’m going to make you pay for it. Told the guys, that there was no way you’d choose a mere woman above us. You made me lose my bet!” His grin gets even wider, face redder than it usually does.

You get the feeling that he is more dangerous than you ever imagined. You underestimate him, consider him the normal one, a friend. You are wrong.

“Not today. See? I’ve got groceries. Even a list. I mustn’t forget the salmon.” You swallow, and keep on walking

Ziggy’s jaw drops. He’s speechless. At least he does not follow you, which is a good sign, you think. You know, you are wrong… But right now, you don’t care.

You need to buy some stuff and have lunch, before she comes back. You are going to have a really nice barbecue, and another wonderful night with her.


part 4 – threats

part 5 – … and you thought you had problems.

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