A Chuck Wending – Friday Flash Fiction prompt – Who the fuck is my D & D character?
“POMPOUS TIEFLING CLERIC FROM A FALLEN KINGDOM WHO CONSTANTLY PLACES THEMSELVES IN DANGER JUST TO PROVE A POINT”
“Get off!” The cleric snarled at the miserable heap lying across his legs.
The dead weight of the man and some middle sized rocks on top of him was uncomfortable. This moron ruined his cape! This was not how he had planned it. The wand went to pieces too… He pushed the human off of his legs and spat. The longest sharpest piece of the stab had to serve for protection. Maybe there was enough magic left in it.
The dragon above them was raging on. Her screams echoed in the tunnels of the abandoned mine. She was overdoing it, in his opinion. But dragons were little famous for their decency or well behaving. This one had definitely anger issues. Mommy was missing one tiny precious egg, but she had hundreds of them!
Dusting off his clothes, his horned silhouette towered over the sack of soggy meat and guts. The man was regaining consciousness. “On your feet! Now!” No effect.
“Please, Father Tyto. I can’t move… Help -” The human whined in pain.
“Baaah- humbug!” He was getting seriously pissed off. Being the village’s new priest, was more of an annoying job, than he had imagin. He had brought this useless moron with him, to distract the dragon. His survival was only a mere option in his plans, not a necessity. “Help yourself!” He had single-handedly filled the vacuum in the villagers’ heads, with purpose, belief, commitment. And he picked the one with the most sense of duty, dying to prove his faith. Dying… That was the point. Humans! So gullible! The sour taste of disgust crawled up his throat. He’d rip out the tongue of that whining worm. But! He steadied his breathing, he wasn’t done!
“My legs… won’t…” The human’s eyes begged, his mouth stretched into something grin-like, but there was no mercy.
“MOVE!” The cleric kicked him in the side, but he could only yelp helplessly. The rumbling sound of the cave above them grew louder and louder. Tyto pinched the bridge of his nose. “Humans!” He gritted his fangs on the word, pushed another one right after it. “Useless!” The priest squatted beside the man. “You aren’t worthy! Your spirit isn’t pure. I warned you. I did. Only the one with a crystal clear spirit and legendary courage could serve Master Caelum.” He nearly convinced himself of the existence of Master Caelum and the Kingdom of Endless-azure-Spirit. Nearly… He had to be careful, not falling his own lies. Sometimes he confused them with reality. Fake Master certainly wouldn’t have his boots licked by such scum. The secret of every cult was the exclusivity.
The dragon squashed herself into the entrance of the tunnel. Her movements made the mountain tremble and moan. Two turns, and she would have them. They were as good as dead. Only appetizers – as good as fried pork. In his case, fried bat. Tyto rubbed his chin, he could feel the tremors vibrating through his legs and torso. “It can’t be helped now.” Was it essential to drag the man along? No. But he could lure the dragon into position. Killing her would give him fame. For Master Caelum’s glory! And all the eggs were his then. Fame and fortune, that didn’t sound that bad.
He grabbed the sack of bones, pulling him by the hair unto his feet. The man coughed up his pain. It sounded like meat being sucked through a bottleneck, interrupted by bellowing breathing sounds. The warm smell of urine and fresh blood flooded Tyto’s nostrils instantly. His reflexes growled at the smell. The man bled; served him right. The tiefling tried to dismiss some ancient ravenous instincts, butting their heads somewhere deep inside of him. -No. Dragon-bait needed to be alive and screaming. The cleric carried the man under his arm. Heading further down the tunnel, he looked for an alcove or something similar. He was going to reek like vacation in a butchery. Luckily his ancestors messed around plenty. Being half-demon had perks, such as extraordinary strength, sharp senses and reflexes. Not to forget, being as good as indestructible.
“Father? Are we dead?”
“No, not yet. On our way into Underworld” What a fool!
“I don’t want to die…” Tyto grunted. This was exactly what he hated most about humans. “My Lord and Master Caelum, please help me.” The dragon was closer now. Her sulfuric breath filled the tunnel. The stench was stinging and burning in nose and lungs. Tyto was sure she would spit more acid than fire. Heat didn’t bother him much, but drowning in acid was, even for him, deadly. “Is this hell? Father… Am I in hell?” He didn’t answer.
This was far enough. The alcoves he saw on their way into the dragon’s lair were in sight. He dropped the man. The coughing and the wet thud he made barely drowned the noises of claws digging into the concrete; scales rubbing against rocks. Tyto did not need to look, to know the dragon was now in the same tunnel. She was fast! The egg was safe in his pouch, and it would stay there. “Master Caelum!” The bait started wailing, as planned.
Tyto grinned, “good boy.” The reptile wriggled herself closer like a snake. The cleric melted into the nearest alcove, and started undressing. He wrapped his wings tighter around his shoulders. The stab he had tucked away was itching him, poking him; eager to be jabbed into dragon flesh.
“Help- help your servant in…” The worm gargled his words into the shaking tunnel. “In great need… Please Master…”