Weekly Horrorscope

Weekly Horrorscope

ARIES

The locusts are coming. It’s not a warning, it’s a promise. We know you are not a farmer. We know you don’t give a s****, but the locusts do. It’s a mutation within your DNA. Those locusts are just going to love you to bits. We suggest you don’t leave your apartment, and tape the windows and the doors shut.

TAURUS

There are letters on your doorstep. They are all the love letters that were lost, or never sent in the first place. There are simple napkins, post-its, envelopes, and torn notebook pages. Some are wet, some perfumed and some are pink. If you’re lucky, you live on ground floor, and you are able to leave through a window. If not… We will come to that next week. Continue reading “Weekly Horrorscope”

Heartless​ Jack

Heartless​ Jack

The bar holds its breath. Bogeyed people keep a secure distance to the fight. Smashed bottles and blood glisten on the counter and the tile floor. Someone urges words into their phone.

The emptiness in Jack’s chest is drilling ache. The skin feels numb under his bloody shirt. His fingertips trace the long scar on his breastbone.

The surgeons take his heart and soul. They strip him bare of his past, of all who he was, and hoped to be. The doctors call it amnesia.

Continue reading “Heartless​ Jack”

Weekly Horrorscope

Weekly Horrorscope

ARIES

This week you are under the guidance and protection of the Ancient Eldritch Entities, aka THE cephalopods. It’s the eye of a Giant Ethereal Cuttlefish, that judges you 24/7. You will be up on the soul-board next month. You will be judged and disputed upon in the course of following nine days; even your first bids may arrive. We suggest you show your best or your worst. Whichever will do.

TAURUS

You may feel that you want to work more with your hands. That feeling coursing through your muscles will remain with you. What a curious feeling! Dig your hands into the garden soil, into the sand in children’s playground, let your fingertips taste the cold clay if you dig the hole for that body.

Continue reading “Weekly Horrorscope”

ONCE UPON A TIME… prompts

ONCE UPON A TIME… prompts

These brilliant starters are the work of my favorite electric sheep. Go take look what he is up to. 

  1. a suitcase full of unmarked, non-consecutive bills was under your bed. Shame, it was all Reichsmark and Notgeld, that have been scribbled on with a red sharpie by a preschooler.
  2. … you lived in a womb. Also, you lived in a time pocket and a dimension bubble. And as you‘ve grown, you emerged from all those protections to meet reality head-on.
  3. … humans were fish. There was no other possible explanation. Some were really hard to pin on their promises, some still had gills, slimy skin, scales, and fins.
  4. everyone joined in whether they liked it or not. Yeah, the daily dancing sessions had been tedious, but since the government turned them into mandatory broadway musical performances, it was unbearable.
  5. … most of the people in your life were aliens. Well, if that’s how you gonna put it, sure. But I’ve always preferred the realistic interpretation. Look into the mirror. There was your alien, or more precisely: your humanoid whatever.
  6. … there was only one way this was going to end. “I know… But are gonna do with the goat, the guitar, and the antique jade hairpin?”
  7. … you know that thing you’re most afraid of? Well, it’s right behind you. My mother isn‘t that sneaky anymore. I heard her.
  8. … formaldehyde tasted great in soup. The cookbook was very specific about the use of neurotoxins. Actually, it tasted like death. But in this line of work, there always was strychnine. It got to you faster than the formaldehyde.
  9. … all the left-handed people were lined up and shot. “My my, this year, they’re making a fuss about that flu-shot.”
  10. … at four in the morning on a Tuesday, three strangers sat half-dressed in room 23 in a motel off Highway 10. They pulled on their clothes and left without saying a word. The fourth player never showed up. Well, so much for the First Annual Time-travel-Strip-Poker Event / Competition. After the rating dropped into oblivion, all expenses were recompensated by the Intergalactic Gambling Society.
  11. … a red light was ignored but a head-on was not. So the police got their new protective gear and the order to stand on every busy intersection, to jump every red-light violator.
  12. … no one saw it coming. It counted on that.
  13.  Arnold chased a cat up the stairs, through the attic, onto and off of the roof. That was when he realized two things. Firstly, the cat could fly. Bugger. Secondly, it had a foul mouth as it meowed profanities at him, while he plunged to the ground.
  14.  two stick people went to find water. They walked out of the desert, across plains and hills and plateaus and mountains until, finally, they reached the coast. ‘This used to be all water,’ said one to the other and they set out onto the salt flats. They walked for days and nights. They walked until only one of them breathed. He looked at the full moon. ‘This used to be easier,’ he sighed and took a sip from the bloody flask.
  15. … two sisters took their elderly mother to the mall and left her in a changing room. Nobody took notice of the two identical looking women taking a dusty, handpainted mannequin in outdated clothes into the changing room. Only a cough betrayed the elderly woman walking out in the same clothes, the dummy had.
  16. … the leader of the iguanodons came to Jackie in a dream and implored her to seize control and help the animals escape. When she awoke, Jackie jumped to the window, grabbed the bars and tried to pull them apart. Jackie’s caretaker wondered what was wrong. “What’s gotten into you so suddenly?” He gave her grapes and some bananas to calm her. That usually did the trick for the chimp, but not today.
  17. … your phone watched you while you were sleeping. “It’s the REM-timed buzzer app, Ben. The children are already scared with your deep web horror stories.” I poked the campfire. “What happened to the good old-fashioned demon and possession stories to go with the roasted marshmallows?”
  18. … everybody in the elevator looked at Janet who smiled, turned red and said, ‘Sorry about that.’ “It’s just a hiccup.” She said, but people kept staring at the orbs darting from her head in every direction. “Please ignore it.” Casually, she windmilled with her free hand around her hair, and the orbs sizzled out.

 

Weekly Horrorscope

Weekly Horrorscope

ARIES

Keep walking. You’re on the path of ancient evil. We know it doesn’t feel like that, but ultimately you will meet your God. The revengeful God of so many regions is smiling upon you. No, let’s be precise. The revengeful God is sneering at you. Keep your head down, and don’t stop walking. We root for you.

TAURUS

It’s time to relax, dear Taurus. Eat, take naps and have some drinks, then go swim in the ocean. When you cannot see the shore, you will be surrounded by huge black fins, don’t be afraid. They have come to guide you to the turquoise cave. Dive and follow them. You will meet the Ocean herself.  Listen to what she has to say. Continue reading “Weekly Horrorscope”

Weekly Horrorscope

Weekly Horrorscope

ARIES

It’s late. You shouldn’t mind if a stranger offers help. Try to be friendly, offer tuna or salmon. This stranger could give you the most interesting time of your life, or eternal peace. It’s up to you. Somehow those cats won’t leave you alone, huh? A bit of catnip should do the trick, you’re welcome.

TAURUS

It’s easy to forget your dream from last night. It is easy to forget the dreams you had as a kid. You were so confident, you’d make them come true. That was the only sensible thing to do… But oh, cruel fate. There is no easy way to be faithful to dreams, my friend. They are what’s not tainted in us. They are what we choose to sacrifice. Continue reading “Weekly Horrorscope”