Part 1 - Wings of an Angel
The gulls make a ruckus. They are restless. News will arrive shortly, my mother used to say. God rest her poor soul.
No clouds hide the blue sky. Before the morning mass, I see the sails. They appear on the horizon like the wings of an angel. Bright. White. Impatiently expected. I’ve been waiting for this ship. Everything is going to be fine now. Thank God Almighty. She will arrive at noon. I give out the orders to bring Captain Andersen to my office as soon as possible. Continue reading “peter midnight”
the template was destined to be wrong.
It took me decades to see why.
history of mistakes added up to delusion
alien failures became domestic madness Continue reading “3Ts”
I’ve been reading Pete Walker’s- C-PTSD from Surviving to Thriving, and some of his phrases really hit me. It clicked with me so hard, that I had a lucid dream about it.
As a surviver I try to find new meaning in my life, to listen to my heart more, and care less about others. I slowly un-learn my adaptations, and try not to be on the edge that often. It’s a process, really. Slow paces up the mountain, sometimes sliding back down. Patience. I tell myself, after all It’s been more than two decades of abuse, that can’t go away that easily. Continue reading “C-PTSD progress”
I’m sick at home, and I have a camera, and some pewter figures – and I did a thing.
The Problem with Magic Thank you, Mladen and WritertoWriters
There is no such thing as magic.
Real magic is extinct.
I watched it die.
I can’t remember when I saw the last trace of its nurturing light. Odd… Come to think of it, it’s nearly two thousand years. I remember Alexandria. Wait, no. No. That’s not right.
The last time I recall sensing magic was in the Middle Ages. It isn’t a good, nor a very successful one. It’s more of a petty attempt to hide money. The man, in his third decade, speaks the words. A carney. Sloppy and slurred words, no meaning where it should be. He doesn’t know what he says.
Continue reading “The Problem With Magic”
Part 1 - The Cold Mountain
Part 2- Tea with Jade and Tiger
MONKEY ON THE ROAD
The silhouette of San Chou gleams between the three green hills of the southern part of the Yellow River. Like a hungry locust reaches a rice paddy, I reach San Chou, five days after Jade, Tiger and I part at my father’s house. My father is Zhang Dee Yang, the most honored governor of Li Jiang. His high hopes are resting on my shoulders. Jade and Tiger, his friends come along to help me complete my mission.
Continue reading “tiger, burning… (3)”
There are places, which make me stop and think for a while.
A lot of these places are in Japan… I can’t say it’s just the small little streets and corners. Sometimes it’s a crowded place in Kyoto, or a nearly empty little street in Shibuya, a playground in Minami Nagareyama, a JR ferry in Hiroshima… They differ from each other so greatly, that I wonder if they are even on the same planet – which obviously they are.
Maybe it is a simple panic attack, or derealization experience I had…
Only, if it wasn’t for that deja-vu…
I’ll be more precise.
The feeling they give me, makes me stop. Suddenly I have not enough breath in my lungs and my feet stretch to touch the core of the planet. A weird kind of buzzing fills the space between my ears…
I’ve been here before, haven’t I? Continue reading “thoughts on shuffle”
Why is it, that suddenly everything starts to gravitate towards the edge?
Those jagged edges of the you-shaped hole chew away my reality.
I let my fingers, thoughts and heart brush over it. Just to be sure, it is there. I’m not imagining it. Not imagining you.
Sharp. I cut myself remembering you. Missing you… Returning to the same spot. Hurting again.
Sometimes it’s a cracking sound, sometimes a wet ripping… Sometimes the gut twisting silence I’m forced to listen to. Continue reading “desire flashbacks”
Mr. Jones’ psychotic adventures – part 5 – end
-part 4, -part 3, -part 2, -part 1
You wake up cause you can’t breathe. Albert is dancing on your chest, belly and tights. He’s heavy and his claws dig into your flesh, leaving red scratches all over you. „Good. Brwouuuf. You wake. Come on, human. Get her.“ You’re too tired to argue with the Great Dane. You think of complaining, but Albert keeps drooling on you. The dog won´t give up. You know that.
„Alright, right… her“, you grunt. It’s in the middle of the night. Dark. Albert steps on your toes. „Hey, watch it.“ You tell him, but know that it’s useless.
„I’ll bite you, if you don´t hurry.“ Albert growls. You shake your head at all the fuss. You wish you knew what´s going on. So, you are up now. Sitting on the bed. There is light in the wardrobe.
Continue reading “… and you thought you had problems.”