PART 1 / PART 2
He sat the box with the fried chicken down and decided to write some mails. One to his mentor, Professor Henriksen, one to his father and one to his best friend, Marius.
Originally he had some rude words for his father, even more angry words, few pleading words… Then he had just one: Bye.
He deleted the mail, and decided to write a suicide note. It would be easier for him that way, he told himself not a pinch believing it. Somewhere behind his stomach he felt a sharp little frizz of malicious glee.
It would not be easier. In fact, this little note would break his father’s heart. It would ruin him, destroy him. And in that moment he wanted it. He wanted to see his father destroyed and broken about his absence…
The ballpen was on the kitchen counter, he ripped out the last site of his thesis and wrote. „I can’t be you. Forgive me.“ He was going to drop the note into his father’s mailbox at the hospital.
His words for Professor Henriksen vanished in thin air. After he was done with the note for his father, he felt tired. Maybe just disappearing was enough, maybe not. He was going to decide later on, he still had time.
He sat down and dug in the rest of his cold dinner, gulped down the last of his warm beer.
Marius called him on his cell. He let it ring, after checking who it was. Marius had planned something for him, a party for his state exam. If not, he was going to ask for money. Probably. „Not in the mood,“ Oscar told the cell. Marius deserved something else, a word or two more. He thought of being sincere, telling him everything. On second thought that was not his brightest idea. Marius was a friend. It made him grin. Marius never knew what a friend was. He was leaning on him, taking and using, like the opportunistic crook that he was. Oscar snorted. „Cheat.“ Marius was a cheat.
He leaned back on his couch, staring at the ceiling, breath fully visible now. The night was going to be icy. The headlights of a car swept through his empty living room. The hard blueish lights made him whimper.