… and you thought you had problems.

Mr. Jones’ psychotic adventures – part 5 – end

-part 4, -part 3, -part 2, -part 1

You wake up cause you can’t breathe. Albert is dancing on your chest, belly and tights. He’s heavy and his claws dig into your flesh, leaving red scratches all over you. „Good. Brwouuuf. You wake. Come on, human. Get her.“ You’re too tired to argue with the Great Dane. You think of complaining, but Albert keeps drooling on you. The dog won´t give up. You know that.

„Alright, right… her“, you grunt. It’s in the middle of the night. Dark. Albert steps on your toes. „Hey, watch it.“ You tell him, but know that it’s useless.

„I’ll bite you, if you don´t hurry.“ Albert growls. You shake your head at all the fuss. You wish you knew what´s going on. So, you are up now. Sitting on the bed. There is light in the wardrobe.

don’t forget the salmon

Mr. Jones’ psychotic adventures – part 3

-part 1 – Where to, Mr. Jones?

-part 2 – soft spot

---

You don’t quite think it through, do you? The woman with the tail, you don’t mean to lie to her. But it’s ok for now. You won’t hurt her with that. You tell her, that you are perfectly fine. Not honest. Shame on you! You shake your head at your own confusion- it is somewhat slightly amusing, you must admit.

There is this fact that might be true. The one, that you’re are nuts. You know that. Ziggy has told you. The gorilla and the skinny man too.

They believe themselves a part of your hallucinations. Ridiculous! If they are, then you can  control them, make them say things like supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, or make them eat disgusting stuff, or run around naked. …Oh wait, the gorilla does that, doesn’t he? And the thin man is eating fried crickets and spiders. You might be hallucinating them, after all.

soft spot

Mr. Jones’ psychotic adventures – part 2

 

 – part 1 – Where to, Mr. Jones?

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There was a train, wasn’t it? You ask yourself, still half asleep. Train rides are always fun. You know that, don´t you?

Maybe not, when you are sitting on the lap of a full grown gorilla, and a thin man is forcing you to eat some fried spiders and crickets, with french fries. They are crunchy, but… Without ketchup, it simply doesn’t taste good.

You know, nothing tastes good without ketchup – surprisingly you never thought of that before.

The Harpy

part 3 - code 330

-part 1, -part 2

“What did you mean by, she’s not just a cargo ship?“ Eddy plunks down into a pilot seat, shrugs and ruffles his dark hair.

“You know- They don’t let a rookie doctor and a priceless AI in a man suit, just fly off like that, would they? Your company protects its belongings damn well. What do you think? They let you deactivate the tracking device you know of, and do nothing? Ha!“ I… I really did! Now that he puts it that way, it sounds bonkers.

The Harpy

part 2 -  confused AI

- part 1 -another way to die

„Captain Edward Wong, Doctor Oscar Wellington, two cyborg pilots, ninety-six maintenance robots, and me.“ The Harpy answers in a flat tone.

„See?“ Eddy gives me the I-told-you-so-look. „Where is Proto?“ he asks her.

„Proto is not on board.“ What?! „His suit is missing. Scanning… He is jamming me.“ Another I-told-you-so-look.

Proto is my assistant. He isn’t supposed to leave the ship. Where is he? What the hell is going on? He’s going to get in trouble…

The Harpy

part 1 - another way to die

 

“Ugh. Stop. Go away!” I chase away the light and the fingers forcing my eyes open. „Where’s the horse?“ I crow.

„What horse?“ Who’s voice is that? The light hurts my eyes.

„That kicked me in the chest? Catch it, before it runs off.“ Sighing. The light and fingers retract. “Proto? Is that you?” I try to sit up, but the floor is spinning.

“No. Don’t you scare me like that, EVER again! Stay where you are, you hear me?” Looks like an uniform. I know that uniform. I know that shape. A captainshaped uniform… Oh… I’m in serious trouble. His silhouette swims into my field of view. Why is he kneeling beside me? Huh… I’m soaked. Why? I’m definitely too groggy for any of these answers. „Still on the ship, aren’t I?”

boca de morte

It is too damn hot and too damn humid to feel like a decent human being.

Plus, this is my last beer – maybe for months. Lukewarm as piss…

How the hell do people here cool themselves?!

The food is spicy, the liquor nasty. To shower is useless, cause I’m sweating.In. The.Shower! The river looks tempting though. But… I won’t take my chances, to end up with a weird, or nasty disease, or both.

Where to Mr. Jones?

part 1

 

The thin man walks up to you. “Mr Jones?” In his hands a cup filled with mealworms. “Your car is waiting. This time the driver won’t be naked. I promise.” He sips from the cup, makes a delighted sound. 
You try to fight back the overwhelming nausea. You’re gonna throw up, if he smiles!
“Come on, Mr. Jones. Don’t make that face. It´s not polite.” Thank god, you turn your head the other way. You just nod. You don’t want to look at that face, ever again. You hope he is not your driver.

sympathy for the devil

Do you want to know a secret?

Never told this anyone before. Not even grandpa or mommy knows about this. But I tell you, sweetheart. You are my grandchild, and I know you will understand this someday. I can tell. It is one of my most treasured adventures… Oh, don’t be silly! Yes, of course, granny had adventures of her own. But this one was by far, the most intensive.

Once, I met the devil! Yes, I did, I truly did. The devil, himself! Don’t make that face, it will stay that way! What? You hope it will? Hahaha, you rascal!

It was a day, like today. Hot, filled with birds singing, and butterflies playing above the flowers. Summer was gaining power. The days grew longer and the sky changed from the spring grayish-white to the strong blue, marking the arrival of lasting heat… The lime trees were blooming. Just like today. You smell their scent? Isn’t this wonderful?

spank the monkey

Movie prompt: Knocking on heaven´s door / Cowboy Bebop Movie

Quote: “I love that kind of woman, who can kick my ass ” – Spike Spiegel

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“Trick or treat! Trick or treat!” The kid screams and dances around me. I’m no maypole. “Trick or treat. Trick or treat!” Stay calm! This is a nice neighborhood, no one suspects a thing. Smile. SMILE! “Trick or treat, trick or-“

„Shut up kid! It’s not even Halloween and I’ve got no candy!” It isn’t impressed… Before this starts over again, this should be more fun.

Let’s see: „If you don’t shut up, I’ll bake you cookies with razors in it and force-feed you some!” I whisper with my sweetest voice and flash a big friendly smile. The child gasps in shock, eyes wide with terror.

Nice!

“…Mommy?!” It runs back to the front yard, and looks pretty scared. “Moohoommiiiiiiiiii!” Ugh, I hate kids…