The thin man walks up to you. “Mr Jones?” In his hands a cup filled with mealworms. “Your car is waiting. This time the driver won’t be naked. I promise.” He sips from the cup, makes a delighted sound.
You try to fight back the overwhelming nausea. You’re gonna throw up, if he smiles!
“Come on, Mr. Jones. Don’t make that face. It´s not polite.” Thank god, you turn your head the other way. You just nod. You don’t want to look at that face, ever again. You hope he is not your driver.
There is a car waiting. A black limousine. The door opens, as you walk towards it.
“My god! You were here all along? Mr Jones! Are you alright? We worried sick! We’ve been to the Professor, Mr Jones. He told us where to look.” A man from the backseat jumps you, hugs you crushing your ribs. Even though he is smaller, he lifts you from the ground – effortlessly. He seems relieved and happy to see you. “No time to chat! You’ll be late. We already are. You know what happens if we’re late…” You shrug and nod, but have no idea. The short man releases you.
“Come now, Mr Jones. Ziggy and me, we missed you great deal! Just happy, that we found you – that you are safe and unharmed. It would have been problematic, if you were dead… You know. We do not make business with dead people. They simply don’t respect privacy!” The thin man snorts.
“Don’t worry, you’re no freak! Ziggy knows you well!” The short man says and points at his nose. So he is Ziggy, you think. He pulls you in, onto the backseat. The thin man shoves himself in, right after you.
You pray, that the cup is empty by now, and you don´t have to see it again. The driver floors the gas pedal and the limousine accelerates with screeching tires. Ziggy and the thin man, they both look at you.
“Where to, Mr. Jones?” It´s the driver who asks you, with a neat english accent. With shock you realize, it is a full grown gorilla driving that damn limousine. The thin man smiles at you. “Told you, he won´t be naked. He has his driver´s cappy on. He won´t upset you any longer. I gave him enough cigars. Bananas of course too. He´ll behave. I swear.” He looks pleased with himself.
You just swallow hard, and admit that you have no idea what´s happening. What is it you have gotten yourself into? The gorilla looks disgusted at the thin man, rolls his eyes. You ask yourself how a gorilla manages such an annoyed look.
Your mouth dies up, as you raise your hand. “I have a question, if you don´t mind.” The thin man and Ziggy look at you expectantly. “Am I… Am I high?“
Ziggy laughs, he puts a hand on your tight. “No, Mr Jones. No, sadly not. We´d be high too. And we are not, that I can tell. No. It is much simpler than that. You are nuts. Understand? We are part of your hallucinations.” He makes a patronizing gesture. “And you have to admit, dear Mr. Jones, if your hallucinations tell you, you are nuts. Better believe it. We have to know.”
The thin man grins. “We´ve seen some weird shit!” He nods approvingly to himself. “Weird. Shit.”
–part 2 – soft spot
–part 3 – don’t forget the salmon
–part 4 – threats
–part 5 – …and you thought you had problems