2 against 1

Come dance, I’ll trow glitter

The mirror’s bullet ’n trigger

Tell me this is you ‘n me

all in – against me

Flying kicks, trow a punch

hopes break with a crunch

your foot’s on my neck

it’s uglier this way, a nick

on the cheek you kiss

no reflections, just a hiss

I’m already fighting me

What’s it to another one?

Your tongue’s a gun

Why’d you want all the fun?

Is it two against one?

So what’s another one?

wait till you feel my weight

I’m no good in this state

the warmths of my gratitude

flowing away like blood

Are you fighting me?

I’m not the only one…

soft heart

soft heart

don’t show me around

-I feel I’ve been here before

these secrets of you  I can’t keep

wrap me up in your cold hands,

there’s this image of you

talk to me, when I’m on the floor

not sure if I should tell you

something important you lost

in a cruel cruel world

something about you  changed

still you look the same

you have to make up your mind

if you go or stay by my side


Image from Kill Bill

other day’s argument – rant from a women who understands everything

A friend of mine got himself stuck in a bad situation, between two women. I overheard an argument he had the other day. He said: “Being in love? How is that good? Like telling someone, that he/she  has cancer, but not the very bad kind.

It was like a kick in the teeth. 

That kind of despite-

I mean, I’m the first one to understand, and to emphasize with someone going through the hurt dwelling in relations between humans. …But this? I never thought of loving like this. Cancer, my ass!

Don’t get me wrong. I know love is a shapeshifter.

Sometimes it’s a huge waterfall roaring over the edge, and you can’t escape its  currents, no matter how hard you struggle. 

Sometimes it’s a burning mountain, devouring  everything in its way, sucking out the air of your lungs, boiling your eyes.  

Sometimes it’s a warm meal, waterproof shoes and a coat.

Sometimes just a “Good morning, how are you today?”.

Sometimes it’s a hand to hold, when you’re in pain…

I have tag called: LOVEISTHEPROBLEM. A quote from Aeon Flux, when asked what she knew. Even if didn’t looked like it – I’ve always admired love and lovers. I’ve always marveled to the changes love caused.

I don’t know how it’s different, from other people in love. But when I am – I start to act weirdly.

Parts of me try to be better. That positive feeling sneaking up behind me, and giving me a hug. I’m try to lose fear. Try to be the best I can be. Because the other one deserves nothing from my fear, anger and frustration. 

I try to create a free space for the significant other. A place to come to rest. A place to be true, without expectations, without fear. A place where nothing bad happens, because you  and your needs are welcomed.  The way you are. A place allowing  everything you and your partner are. Fully. Accepted. Embraced. Dealt with. Satisfied. A place without remorse, without shame.

This  is what I think of loving. 

said and done

I can’t wait for those nightmares

bad choices snicker at my scares

on the fence I’m drying my sins

guts of a scapegoat fixed with pins

*

Light the fuse, I sit on bombs

I’d stick to the world in your palms

I can’t stop grinding my teeth

Excuse me, let me breathe!

*

Don’t tie me to the back seat!

You can’t hear me praying on repeat.

When I wake up I’m afraid,

I feel cold and betrayed

*

Secretly hiding your good-bye letter

into the sleeves of my favorite sweater

knotted around your swaying waist

We dance – a death tango, fast paced

*

Somebody’s beneath my face

Somebody else took my place

Let me go, or start listening!

 you look – my heart’s blistering

sick knot love

hands tied to a knot

my lies will be sacrificed

my soul is sprained,

spirit fading – fall or run?

 

the only choice to make it right,

from dawn to dawn,

to drink the blood of dusk.

black guitar on my chest,

 

play it on and on, on ‘n on…

blue smoke between my teeth

I’d crow out my guts, if it’d helped.

the sun goes down,

 

I’m still lying on the ground.

still hands tied to a knot.

it lingers on and on- dusk’s dead.

play me, trick me on and on,

there is another dawn ahead.

tavern angel

sun goes down on a sorry day

music crawls under my ache

blue smoke fills all dull taverns

waiting for some old crooks

to spill beer and blood.

I’m worse, than I’ve ever been;

you make me forget, the shape I’m in

my beautiful angel are you proud?

dirt covered illusions in a rusting heart

you have to pull me out of this mud

hands down on a floor full of smithers

bit my tongue, to your copper taste

I’d die smashed in your arms tonight

your  sweetness’ feels right

your eyes poised and ready

to finish me off with a bitter laugh