Janus

I can’t stop myself from looking at him – snow white skin, hair, dark as chocolate, topaz eyes borrowed from a bird of prey, soft lips, bowed in a mischievous arch – vibrant memories, which won’t  let me sleep, won’t let me close my eyes. Even if I do, I’ll open them up, asap. Feeling his breath, his gaze peeled to whatever there is to be to be noticed in my face.

Even in the darkness of the room, drawn curtains, and the half moon shining… Even in the solid black mist his eyes seems to glow in that strange orange golden light. He seems to emit it, his faces, his mouthes, his shiny teeth… All screaming curiosity.

“What is it?”

“Nothing. I´ve never seen someone fall asleep before.”

“What? Never? Why?”

“I never sleep. So I’m curious.”

“Suit yourself.” Indeed, I’m exhausted, and ´bout to fall asleep. “So you never sleep, hm? Do you – ever dream?” My lips move lazily. The bed sheets still hot and messed up. Feeling heavy on my skin.

“Yes. But mine are different from yours. I do not lose myself doing so.” His voice softens, moves closer somewhere near my left temple. “And when you’ll lose yourself, you’ll be empty – a living, breathing hollow shell. Just waiting.” His voice sounds now like a whisper, moves suddenly from my left to the right ear… Of course -forgot- two mouthes. Two tongues. Strangely, they sound the same.

Can’t open my eyes, sleep burns inside of them. It is a soft warm black, that keeps dripping, dissolving into my mind. “Mhm. What for?” Words drop out hazily, I just breathe them out.

“For me, to do as I please… Shhh, now. Go back to sleep…”

the cat

the cat

 

The day is slowly trickling off. The sun rests on the rooftop, its orange bleeds out, reaching over the sky. Beyond the edges of the buildings on the other street side. Trees nearby rustle, as the wind picks up.

A black cat sits on top of an old brick wall surrounding a garden. It can be easily confused with a statue in the dusk. If it isn’t for those flashing yellow eyes. Horse chestnut tree branches stretch over the mural’s top, slowly waving in the evening wind. They shade the most of the wall, even with the streetlight flickering on nearby.

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frequency

frequency

Okay! Don’t look now… but I just busted the lock on 388.

Yeah, yeah. Don’t be so shocked!

As if you never slipped! – With a bolt cutter. On a lock.

I mean, come on… We’re on the same side here, aren’t we? We’re havin’ a little fun! You ’n me… Little snoopin’ round, little snuffin’ out. It’s what I do for livin’. No, I’m a part-time jacker. I know it’s not so reputable, but I ain’t a reputable man. So don’t bother.

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dreams of doomsday

The steaming mug of tea drew a slow, hot circle in the laminate of the coffee table.

Normal physics. The best of it, the calming part. Not the going haywire for no fucking reason. Inside this room, my apartment. Everything seems to be stable for now.

Outside though… Visible vectors, stretching and distorting time and space… Things which should not be. Impossible things. Today I saw a bird climbing back into an egg, before exploding.

This is wrong… Everything… It doesn’t make sense.

I refuse to acknowledge, that this day should be doomsday. No. I don’t believe in doom!

After a while, you appreciate home like nothing ever before. Doesn’t matter how shitty it looks like. It is enough, that you have to deal with a lot of morons, and can’t take a break.

And I’m about to flip the table. Literally. I’m freaking out. The local news do nothing to sort that out. The anchorman smiles and looks distracted, as the video behind him shows a woman in a red dress crying, pulling a child with an over-sized stuffed Teddy behind. And the stuffed animal has red eyes and a mouthful sharp needle like teeth. Well its more that the stuffed bear is partly fused with the child… I got goose-bumpy all over and shuddered at the sight.

The worst thing ´bout this whole mess, is that I have it somehow triggered. Don´t ask me how. I don´t know. I don´t know. I DON´T KNOW!

I’m wrecking my brain over a dream I had last night. And the night before. Today is a freaky replay of that dream. No, it isn´t exactly a nightmare, just a bunch of weird angles and strangers talking to each other. I have no particular role in it, I observe.

Woman in red dress crying. Check. A kid with a stuffed Horrorteddy. Check. Teddy being and or eating  child. Check. Then there are some water snakes too… Um, where is it? I can’t quite remember where or how. I boggle at the news anchor. No snakes there. Behind him either…

My wrist. Something’s on it. I stop my teacup in midair. On the cup my hand. On my hand the snake. The snake! The warmth creps up my sleeve.

Oh, god… Not in here too.

What if it bites me? What if…